BEADS ON THE BONE
A Dog’s
Life
I’m a store dog, from a long line of store dogs. My name is Lily. I’m part Chihuahua and part Shiatsu.And, try as I may, and feign as I might, I don’t think I’ll ever master this beading and jewelry making stuff.
After all, I can’t put beads on a bone.
5/30/13
My doggy pen-pal died a couple of days ago.
I’m going to miss her.
We both talked back and forth about how crazy these human folks were about these stupid beads.
You can’t eat them, so what good are they!
— Lily
I read this this morning:
2/9/12
Oh, No!
There’s a bead in my water bowl today.
— Lily
11/5/11
Warren keeps telling me that all those treats he’s always carrying in his hands are “beads”.
Likely damn story!
– Lily
11/2/11
I overhead Richard say, “I wonder if Lily makes note of every time we pet the other dogs?
You know what I say: “What do You think?!@#”
– Lily
10/24/11
I can’t be getting fat!
All I ever eat are beads!
– Lily
4/22/11
Yes, it was me who secretly chewed up that low-hanging hank of seed beads.
And I rolled in them and rolled in them, and rested my belly on them.
I got them all up and in and out of my hair.
I played shoot the bead with my whiskers.
There’s nothing finer than bathing naked in a big pile of beads.
– Lily
4/22/11
Warren started giving me fish oil capsules with a smear of peanut butter.
Yum!
But then Daisy and Maggie began calling me “Fish Breath”.
Yecch!
– Lily
4/19/11
Everyone is still talking about Rosie!
Still!
It’s been years!
I’m the #1 dog now!
— Lily
5/31/10
Warren interviewed lots of people for a new job today.
I let him know who I would and would not pick.
Nip 1, Lick 2
– Lily
5/20/10
That Maggie is a dolt!
Get the ball and fetch,
Get the ball and fetch,
Get the ball and fetch,
What a (bleepin’) idiot!
– Lily
5/14/10
Maggie is the new kid on the block.
I love my new sister.
She constantly pesters Daisy.
And James has some other dog to decorate with bows, hair ties and clips
– Lily
4/6/10
Of course I bit you!
DON’T TAKE MY TOYS!!!!
– Lily
4/3/10
Spa Day!
Why are they so surprised about all the beads in my hair?
– Lily
2/4/10
I barked at him incessantly.
I nipped at his shoes.
I nipped at his heels.
I grabbed his pants with my teeth, and pulled, pulled, pulled.
It’s been 2 HOURS! already. Go grab your wife and get her out of the store.
And, oh yes, GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!!!
– Lily
2/3/10
I don’t want you to get the wrong impression about me.
I’m not a whiner.
I love my share of lovin’s, treats and hug’ms.
I just don’t like to share them with Maggie, Daisy, Becky or Mr. Ziggy.
Shouldn’t I have a say as to which dogs can invade my store?
– Lily
1/6/10
Oh, no!
Now James has brought ANOTHER dog to the store — Maggie!
There’s not going to be enough of Marj’s lunch left for Me!
– Lily
12/24/09
The little girl-child asked her grandmother,
“Can we buy Daisy?”
Please, please, please, say Yes.
– Lily
12/11/09
I just want to get up into the chair
the next customer wants to sit in.
– Lily
12/10/09
Sure miss Connie.
Hopefully they play Dirty Santa in heaven.
If they didn’t before, I’m sure they do now.
– Lily
12/10/09
Yesterday was our annual holiday party!
Daisy and I declared a truce, and agreed to tag-team everyone there.
Many more treats that way.
“Way to go! Daisy.”
[I’ll show her who’s ALPHA tonight when we get home.]
– Lily
11/29/09
Warren told Richard the waxed cotton would get all tangled up if he didn’t drape the skein over the back of a chair.
You know, he was right!
[I’ll blame Richard.]
– Lily
11/24/09
When the salesman told Warren, “You’ll eat our new catalog up, it’s so great!”, I did.
Did not go down well.
— Lily
11/7/2009
I think Marjorie needs her exercise,
so I make her walk me at least 4 times a day.
I don’t really have to go that often,
but I like to watch Marjorie do her stretching exercises when we get back from our walk.
She reaches her arm slowly up, and then out, to lift the lid of the jar with the treats in them.
She squeezes her hand inside the jar to select and pull out a treat.
She brings her outstretched arm back out of the jar, and with ever-so-much grace, extends her arm and hand to deliver me a treat near the floor below.
I think this is fair.
100 calories for 100 calories
– Lily
10/18/2009
The Beaded Art Dolls have arrived.
They all have such pretty feet.
– Lily
10/12/2009
A dichroic bead caught my eye, the other day.
I turned my head all the way around to escape the gleam.
Until I rolled over.
That worked!
– Lily
9/10/2009
James has been dropping Daisy off at the store everyday now.
In Tennessee, isn’t it legal for dogs to carry guns?
I know we don’t have to wear shoes!
– Lily
8/11/2009
And that’s how it starts….with “Lily, Lily.”
And I run eagerly into Warren’s arms,
expecting that delicious treat…..
And, whoosh, off we go to the Vet’s
and I get a shot.
No fair.
– Lily
8/6/2009
James has been pushing Daisy on me all week now.
Enough already!
– Lily
7/26/2009
When James and Warren go out to dinner,
I expect to get more than scraps.
You hear me, boys?
– Lily
7/2/2009
Jeanette is visiting this week. James went out and bought her a little puppy — a Maltipoo. How nice!
Then he said he was thinking a getting a Maltipoo himself.
I have the hole ready, James, I have the hole ready.
– Lily
6/13/2009
It was raining beads!
Warren was holding up a tube of bugle beads, and the bottom of the tube fell out.
And the beads followed.
And Daisy followed the beads.
And ate some of them.
She’ll be sore in the morning.
I suspect.
– Lily
6/2/2009
“Are you the official greeter in the store?” she asked.
“Are you the official greeter,” she continued.
“Are you the official greeter in the store? she begged for an answer.
What could she be expecting? For me to talk?
– Lily
5/30/2009
This morning, Warren keeps calling me “Daisy”.
Jesus. Mary. Joseph. God. For The Love Of Pete!!!!!!!#####@@@@
– Lily
5/27/2009
We got some new 6/0’s in the jet picasso color.
They were Connie’s favorites.
I know. She would never let me sniff those.
I miss Connie.
– Lily
There Warren is. He’s just typing away. Type. Type. Type.
And not thinking about me.
– Lily
5/10/2009
Got some metal clay between my toes.
Let’s fire these babies!
– Lily
5/9/2009
Marje always wants to make me look like a girly-girl’s dog.
I’m not.
Sorry, my hair is not always perfectly coiffed.
– Lily
5/5/2009
Warren took me aside, and held me tight. He told me Connie had died yesterday.
4/20/2009
– Lily
Daisy, dastardly daisy doodle, got in trouble yesterday. She jumped up on the bead table, and was taken to the dark bathroom for time out.
They waxed the floors last night.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! #^Vdkla@)(!%
Oooh, they missed a bead.
– Lily
4/15/09
These substitute UPS drivers don’t get it.
Nip or Treat!
No treat, you get nipped.
– Lily
4/12/2009
4/10/2009
Thunder and lightning, Oh My!
The only safe place to hide is under Warren’s chair.
Too bad it’s on wheels.
– Lily
4/8/2009
Connie was worth waiting for!
I love Connie!
– Lily
4/7/2009
Tomorrow is Bead Study. Can’t wait. Connie takes good care of me. That’s why I like to jump up on the seat next to her, and curl up and look cute.
She’s very good about not dropping beads on top of me.
– Lily
COPYRIGHT, FELD, 2009
LAND OF ODDS
Learn To Bead 
Connie and Cleo said
Dear Lily = I will be glad to teach you tubular peyote. I taught Rosie. I don’t blame you for getting mad at Daisy Dawg – she really does not like beads. Cleo says to tell you MEOW. She is busy eating her tuna.
Connie
Ms. P said
Ms. P here Lilly. I know what you mean about working hard. While my person, Vera, is at the store loving on you I’m stuck here at home stealing her beady things. Last week I managed two tubes of Delica’s. A lovely shade of blue one darker than the other and just for spite a bag of black beads. It’s so much fun to see my person have a fit over my stealing her things, she does all this hand waving and running around finding my bead treasures. Pays off in the long run cause I get a treat in trade for the most valuable items. I guess you are in charge of security at the store, tough job but you can handle it. Paws up
Ms. P said
Dear Lily: My person Vera will be back to give you treats and hugs next week. I’ve had to put up with her coughing, snorting, hacking, staggering,laying in the recliner or on the couch. She’s been slow with the treats and not a bead even looked at for a week now. Yesterday she was grouchy so I know she’s getting well. I hope she gets through with all the nose honking and dramatics by the time you see her. Just remember that Connie, Dottie and Rosie are with us in our hearts every minute of the day. I know you’ve han home improvements to put up with but just think of me….I have to put up with a cat. ICK!!!
Ms. P said
Oh Lilly, you are well known for being such a Saint when it comes to sharing your store duties with Daisy. We all love you. Vera always gives you the biggest treat. Remember I have to put up that evil cat Fluffy. Count your blessings. At least Daisy doesn’t hiss and scratch with claws like daggers. Miss P
Ms. P said
Oh Lilly, you just don’t know. Last week I had to go to the vet and have a needle removed from my mouth….no more stealing mom’s pincushion. Today I had to go have my teeth cleaned and some pulled. Now instead of bark, bark it comes out barf, barf. Maybe that will make people run the other way even faster if they think I’m going to barf. You ought to try it at the store sometime and see how it works.
Ms. P said
Oh Lilly I’ve exciting news about that wax mum uses on her beading thread. Oh, it’s so much better than bubble gum. Has more body to it and lasts much longer. Took mum hours to get the soft sticky crumbles out of the rug. I put on my best innocent look but it didn’t work, she fussed at me the whole time she dug my sinful pleasure out our crappy carpet. Bubble gum sticks in my fur and wax is not as bad but I must tell you that if you flatten yourself out and scrub your belly back and forth for a good itch relief the wax crumbles get stuck to your fur and then its time for a hair cut on your tummy. Till next time P
Ms. P said
Oh Lily, my person said that you sang happy birthday so professionally last week. Have you taken formal singing lessons? Have you starred at the Met? I didn’t know you could make my persons birthday the very best she ever had since the wheel was invented. Bravo
Ruby said
I soooo love reading Lily’s blogging! Please always continue sharing her!