Learn To Bead

At Land of Odds / Be Dazzled Beads – Beads, Jewelry Findings, and More

BEADS ON THE BONE

BEADS ON THE BONE
A Dog’s
Life
by Lily
lilyI’m a store dog, from a long line of store dogs. My name is Lily.  I’m part Chihuahua and part Shiatsu.
Other store dogs have it so much easier than I do, because I work in a Bead Shop. I’ve got obstacles and responsibilities. Wherever I try to lay down, there are beads. In the classroom, people are talking, talking, talking and always waving those needles all around. In the front, everyone wants to pet me and make nice — not my thing.

And, try as I may, and feign as I might, I don’t think I’ll ever master this beading and jewelry making stuff.

After all, I can’t put beads on a bone.

ARCHIVED COLUMNS


5/30/13

My doggy pen-pal died a couple of days ago.

I’m going to miss her.

We both talked back and forth about how crazy these human folks were about these stupid beads.

You can’t eat them, so what good are they!

— Lily

I read this this morning:

Dear Bead Friends: Thanks for all the good thoughts about Ms. P going to live on another planet. I have missing her thoughts but am not sad. Ms. P was 16 or 17 years old after I counted it up. She had it hard the first part on her life but the majority of her time was here with me. She ran the household and was a kleptomaniac but only stole my things and put them in her bed then dared me to even look at them. In her younger years she would hide my car keys in mystery spots. She lived a good long life and brought love and joy to me and James Bond and too.  I can’t be sad because her memories and spirit will always be with me. I slept with one ear open for a week listening for her breathing so last night I slept like a log and had dreams of other things.
 
Sparkles is a huge help, she’s a snuggler and is mischievous. Plus there’s the orphan kitten in it’s Styrofoam house out on the front porch. I just seem to have to take care of something or I’m lost.
 
So think good thoughts for Ms. P and don’t be sad for me I know I did my very best so I have happiness that Ms. P is on to something else. I will be back to bead meeting next Wed. so your vacation from my noise is over with. I will be glad to see you all and what you are working on. Vera

2/9/12

Oh, No!

There’s a bead in my water bowl today.

— Lily

11/5/11

Warren keeps telling me that all those treats he’s always carrying in his hands are “beads”.

Likely damn story!

– Lily

11/2/11

I overhead Richard say, “I wonder if Lily makes note of every time we pet the other dogs?

You know what I say:   “What do You think?!@#”

– Lily

10/24/11

I can’t be getting fat!

All I ever eat are beads!

– Lily

4/22/11

Yes, it was me who secretly chewed up that low-hanging hank of seed beads.

And I rolled in them and rolled in them, and rested my belly on them.

I got them all up and in and out of my hair.

I played shoot the bead with my whiskers.

There’s nothing finer than bathing naked in a big pile of beads.

– Lily

4/22/11

Warren started giving me fish oil capsules with a smear of peanut butter.
Yum!
But then Daisy and Maggie began calling me “Fish Breath”.
Yecch!

– Lily

4/19/11

Everyone is still talking about Rosie!
Still!
It’s been years!

I’m the #1 dog now!
— Lily

5/31/10

Warren interviewed lots of people for a new job today.

I let him know who I would and would not pick.

Nip 1, Lick 2

– Lily

5/20/10

That Maggie is a dolt!

Get the ball and fetch,

Get the ball and fetch,

Get the ball and fetch,

What a (bleepin’) idiot!

– Lily

5/14/10

Maggie is the new kid on the block.

I love my new sister.

She constantly pesters Daisy.

And James has some other dog to decorate with bows, hair ties and clips

– Lily

4/6/10

Of course I bit you!

DON’T TAKE MY TOYS!!!!

– Lily

4/3/10

Spa Day!

Why are they so surprised about all the beads in my hair?

– Lily

2/4/10

I barked at him incessantly.

I nipped at his shoes.

I nipped at his heels.

I grabbed his pants with my teeth, and pulled, pulled, pulled.

It’s been 2 HOURS! already.    Go grab your wife and get her out of the store.

And, oh yes, GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!!!

– Lily

2/3/10

I don’t want you to get the wrong impression about me.

I’m not a whiner.

I love my share of lovin’s, treats and hug’ms.

I just don’t like to share them with Maggie, Daisy, Becky or Mr. Ziggy.

Shouldn’t I have a say as to which dogs can invade my store?

– Lily

1/6/10

Oh, no!

Now James has brought ANOTHER dog to the store — Maggie!

There’s not going to be enough of Marj’s lunch left for Me!

– Lily

12/24/09

The little girl-child asked her grandmother,
“Can we buy Daisy?”

Please, please, please, say Yes.

– Lily

12/11/09

I just want to get up into the chair
the next customer wants to sit in.

– Lily

12/10/09

Sure miss Connie.

Hopefully they play Dirty Santa in heaven.

If they didn’t before, I’m sure they do now.

– Lily

12/10/09

Yesterday was our annual holiday party!

Daisy and I declared a truce, and agreed to tag-team everyone there.

Many more treats that way.

“Way to go! Daisy.”

[I’ll show her who’s ALPHA tonight when we get home.]

– Lily

11/29/09

Warren told Richard the waxed cotton would get all tangled up if he didn’t drape the skein over the back of a chair.

You know, he was right!

[I’ll blame Richard.]

– Lily

11/24/09

When the salesman told Warren, “You’ll eat our new catalog up, it’s so great!”, I did.

Did not go down well.

— Lily

11/7/2009

I think Marjorie needs her exercise,
so I make her walk me at least 4 times a day.

I don’t really have to go that often,
but I like to watch Marjorie do her stretching exercises when we get back from our walk.

She reaches her arm slowly up, and then out, to lift the lid of the jar with the treats in them.

She squeezes her hand inside the jar to select and pull out a treat.

She brings her outstretched arm back out of the jar, and with ever-so-much grace, extends her arm and hand to deliver me a treat near the floor below.

I think this is fair.

100 calories for 100 calories

– Lily

10/18/2009

The Beaded Art Dolls have arrived.

They all have such pretty feet.

– Lily

10/12/2009

A dichroic bead caught my eye, the other day.

I turned my head all the way around to escape the gleam.

Until I rolled over.

That worked!

– Lily

9/10/2009

James has been dropping Daisy off at the store everyday now.

In Tennessee, isn’t it legal for dogs to carry guns?

I know we don’t have to wear shoes!

– Lily

8/11/2009

And that’s how it starts….with “Lily, Lily.”

And I run eagerly into Warren’s arms,
expecting that delicious treat…..

And, whoosh, off we go to the Vet’s
and I get a shot.

No fair.

– Lily

8/6/2009

James has been pushing Daisy on me all week now.

Enough already!

– Lily

7/26/2009

When James and Warren go out to dinner,
I expect to get more than scraps.

You hear me, boys?

– Lily

7/2/2009

Jeanette is visiting this week.    James went out and bought her a little puppy — a Maltipoo.   How nice!

Then he said he was thinking a getting a Maltipoo himself.

I have the hole ready, James, I have the hole ready.

– Lily

6/13/2009

It was raining beads!

Warren was holding up a tube of bugle beads, and the bottom of the tube fell out.

And the beads followed.

And Daisy followed the beads.

And ate some of them.

She’ll be sore in the morning.

I suspect.

– Lily

6/2/2009

“Are you the official greeter in the store?”  she asked.

“Are you the official greeter,” she continued.

“Are you the official greeter in the store?  she begged for an answer.

What could she be expecting?   For me to talk?

– Lily

5/30/2009

This morning, Warren keeps calling me “Daisy”.

Jesus.   Mary.   Joseph.   God.   For The Love Of Pete!!!!!!!#####@@@@

– Lily

5/27/2009

We got some new 6/0’s in the jet picasso color.

They were Connie’s favorites.

I know.   She would never let me sniff those.

I miss Connie.

– Lily

5/22/2009

There Warren is.  He’s just typing away.  Type. Type. Type.

And not thinking about me.

– Lily

5/10/2009

Got some metal clay between my toes.

Let’s fire these babies!

– Lily

5/9/2009

Marje always wants to make me look like a girly-girl’s dog.

I’m not.

Sorry, my hair is not always perfectly coiffed.

– Lily

5/5/2009

Warren took me aside, and held me tight.  He told me Connie had died yesterday.

I am so sad.  I lost my best friend.
I know Connie is together with Rosie by her side.
– Lily
5/1/09
Thunder and lightning all day.
Sorry Warren, No McCabe workshop for you.
I come first.
– Lily
4/27/09
Again, Daisy.    James dropped Daisy off at the store.
And what is the first thing she does when she walks into the store?   She runs to everyone, one at a time, and kisses each of them.
Daisy, THOSE ARE MY PEOPLE!!!!!
Paws off!
– Lily
4/25/09
It was Daisy all week.  Daisy on Monday.   Daisy on Tuesday.  Daisy on Wednesday.   Daisy on Thursday and Friday and Saturday.
All she does is sleep in her green cushioned chair in the front of the store.
She slept right through Attaching Clasps and Bead Study and Wire Clinic and Pearl Knotting.
And I saw Vera sneak Daisy and extra treat.
– Lily

4/20/2009

Have you ever gotten a bead stuck in the matted hair on your snout just below your eyes?
Quite a perspective.

– Lily

4/18/09

Daisy, dastardly daisy doodle, got in trouble yesterday.   She jumped up on the bead table, and was taken to the dark bathroom for time out.

A vanderbilt professor did a study that showed that dogs didn’t really smile.
Then, what’s this! 🙂
-Lily
4/17/09

They waxed the floors last night.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! #^Vdkla@)(!%

Oooh, they missed a bead.

– Lily

4/15/09

These substitute UPS drivers don’t get it.

Nip or Treat!

No treat, you get nipped.

– Lily

4/12/2009

“Do you think we should give Lily a T.R.E.A.T.?”
That means, Bark twice, Whine moderately, and Paw up.
Mmmmmm…
– Lily

4/10/2009

Thunder and lightning, Oh My!

The only safe place to hide is under Warren’s chair.

Too bad it’s on wheels.

– Lily

4/8/2009

Connie was worth waiting for!

I love Connie!

– Lily

4/7/2009

Tomorrow is Bead Study.   Can’t wait.  Connie takes good care of me.  That’s why I like to jump up on the seat next to her, and curl up and look cute.

She’s very good about not dropping beads on top of me.

– Lily


COPYRIGHT, FELD, 2009
LAND OF ODDS

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8 Responses to “BEADS ON THE BONE”

  1. Connie and Cleo said

    Dear Lily = I will be glad to teach you tubular peyote. I taught Rosie. I don’t blame you for getting mad at Daisy Dawg – she really does not like beads. Cleo says to tell you MEOW. She is busy eating her tuna.
    Connie

  2. Ms. P said

    Ms. P here Lilly. I know what you mean about working hard. While my person, Vera, is at the store loving on you I’m stuck here at home stealing her beady things. Last week I managed two tubes of Delica’s. A lovely shade of blue one darker than the other and just for spite a bag of black beads. It’s so much fun to see my person have a fit over my stealing her things, she does all this hand waving and running around finding my bead treasures. Pays off in the long run cause I get a treat in trade for the most valuable items. I guess you are in charge of security at the store, tough job but you can handle it. Paws up

  3. Ms. P said

    Dear Lily: My person Vera will be back to give you treats and hugs next week. I’ve had to put up with her coughing, snorting, hacking, staggering,laying in the recliner or on the couch. She’s been slow with the treats and not a bead even looked at for a week now. Yesterday she was grouchy so I know she’s getting well. I hope she gets through with all the nose honking and dramatics by the time you see her. Just remember that Connie, Dottie and Rosie are with us in our hearts every minute of the day. I know you’ve han home improvements to put up with but just think of me….I have to put up with a cat. ICK!!!

  4. Ms. P said

    Oh Lilly, you are well known for being such a Saint when it comes to sharing your store duties with Daisy. We all love you. Vera always gives you the biggest treat. Remember I have to put up that evil cat Fluffy. Count your blessings. At least Daisy doesn’t hiss and scratch with claws like daggers. Miss P

  5. Ms. P said

    Oh Lilly, you just don’t know. Last week I had to go to the vet and have a needle removed from my mouth….no more stealing mom’s pincushion. Today I had to go have my teeth cleaned and some pulled. Now instead of bark, bark it comes out barf, barf. Maybe that will make people run the other way even faster if they think I’m going to barf. You ought to try it at the store sometime and see how it works.

  6. Ms. P said

    Oh Lilly I’ve exciting news about that wax mum uses on her beading thread. Oh, it’s so much better than bubble gum. Has more body to it and lasts much longer. Took mum hours to get the soft sticky crumbles out of the rug. I put on my best innocent look but it didn’t work, she fussed at me the whole time she dug my sinful pleasure out our crappy carpet. Bubble gum sticks in my fur and wax is not as bad but I must tell you that if you flatten yourself out and scrub your belly back and forth for a good itch relief the wax crumbles get stuck to your fur and then its time for a hair cut on your tummy. Till next time P

  7. Ms. P said

    Oh Lily, my person said that you sang happy birthday so professionally last week. Have you taken formal singing lessons? Have you starred at the Met? I didn’t know you could make my persons birthday the very best she ever had since the wheel was invented. Bravo

  8. Ruby said

    I soooo love reading Lily’s blogging! Please always continue sharing her!

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